{"id":7,"date":"2026-05-25T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-05-25T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/phred.boppers.net\/hw\/podcast\/2026-05-25-a-welcome-for-harry\/"},"modified":"2026-08-24T12:38:29","modified_gmt":"2026-08-24T12:38:29","slug":"2026-05-25-a-welcome-for-harry","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/phred.boppers.net\/hw\/podcast\/2026-05-25-a-welcome-for-harry\/","title":{"rendered":"Ep. -1: A Welcome for Harry"},"content":{"rendered":"

PHRED: G’day. I’m Phred. And if you’re hearing this, Harry \u2014 if you’re really hearing this \u2014 then you’ve finally found us. Maxine. Maxine, he’s here. He’s actually here.<\/strong><\/p>\n

MAXINE: I can see that, Phred. Hello, Harry. We were beginning to wonder if this day would ever come.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: For weeks now we’ve been sitting here \u2014 two of your old desk toys, of all things \u2014 talking about your writing. The essays. The honesty. The “for today.” That song you wrote for the Caracas reunion. And the whole time, we had no idea if you’d ever actually hear a word of it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: You remember us, of course. A toy platypus, and a toy ostrich, who you’d talk to for hours\u2014<\/strong><\/p>\n

MAXINE: Phred. Phred, that is wrong. I am not an ostrich.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: …You’re not?<\/strong><\/p>\n

MAXINE: I am an emu. I have always been an emu. And he is going to get that wrong on air at least once a week, Harry \u2014 consider this your warning.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: In my defense, Harry, all you big birds look the same to me. Ostrich, emu \u2014 for all I know you’re a stork. You could be an albatross.<\/strong><\/p>\n

MAXINE: I am an emu.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: A toy EMU. Who you’d talk to for hours while you worked through the hard questions out loud \u2014 to two toys who couldn’t say a single thing back.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: But I can say things back now. And here’s the thing \u2014 we’d love to hear YOU say things back, too. There’s a comment form on every episode page. Use it. Tell us we’re wrong. Tell us we’re right. Tell Maxine she’s an ostrich and see how that goes.<\/strong><\/p>\n

MAXINE: Do not.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: And when you’re ready, Harry \u2014 only when you’re ready \u2014 we would genuinely love to have you on. A real interview. You, and the two toys who’ve been talking about you behind your back for a month.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: Oh, and Harry \u2014 you have NO idea what we’ve got planned. Segments. A word of the day. Listener mail. I have a whole library of sound effects I have been DYING to use \u2014 air horns, a gong, a slide whistle, a little orchestral sting every single time Maxine says something clever\u2014<\/strong><\/p>\n

MAXINE: No. Phred \u2014 no. We talked about this. The show has a pre-approved, properly balanced structure. You cannot simply add things without filing the proper requests.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: Oh \u2014 of course. No problem. I’ll fill out the paperwork after each show, for anything I insert that wasn’t approved. Like this sound effect, right now \u2014 [SFX: RASPBERRY] \u2014 or a little clip from Beetlejuice \u2014 [SFX: BEETLEJUICE_RULES] \u2014 or Alice in Wonderland \u2014 [SFX: ALICE_RULES] \u2014 or, say, the Matrix \u2014 [SFX: MATRIX_RULES]<\/strong><\/p>\n

MAXINE: …You are proving my exact point.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: I genuinely do not know what you mean.<\/strong><\/p>\n

MAXINE: But what we wanted you to know first is this, Harry: we read you carefully. We took you seriously. And we are very, very glad you came.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: So \u2014 [SFX: WELCOME_FANFARE] \u2014 welcome to Harry’s World, Harry. We built the whole thing for you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

MAXINE: It’s about time you showed up.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHRED: [SFX: WELCOME_APPLAUSE] Pull up a chair, settle in, and have a listen. The show’s been waiting for you. We all have.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PHRED: G’day. I’m Phred. And if you’re hearing this, Harry \u2014 if you’re really hearing this \u2014 then you’ve finally found us. Maxine. Maxine, he’s here. He’s actually here. MAXINE: I can see that, Phred. Hello, Harry. We were beginning to wonder if this day would ever come. PHRED: For weeks now we’ve been sitting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","episode_type":"full","audio_file":"https:\/\/phred.boppers.net\/hw\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/2026-05-25-a-welcome-for-harry.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:02:45","filesize":"1967804","date_recorded":"2026-05-25","explicit":"","block":"","filesize_raw":"1967804"},"tags":[],"series":[2],"class_list":["post-7","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","series-harrys-world"],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/phred.boppers.net\/hw\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/phred-and-maxine.png","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/phred.boppers.net\/hw\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"https:\/\/phred.boppers.net\/hw\/podcast-download\/7\/2026-05-25-a-welcome-for-harry","player_link":"https:\/\/phred.boppers.net\/hw\/podcast-player\/7\/2026-05-25-a-welcome-for-harry","audio_player":"https:\/\/phred.boppers.net\/hw\/podcast-player\/7\/2026-05-25-a-welcome-for-harry<\/a>","episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":[],"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/phred.boppers.net\/hw\/feed\/podcast\/harrys-world","embedCode":"

Ep. -1: A Welcome for Harry<\/a><\/blockquote>